Craby! Craby! Craby!

Two days to go and I’m in a foul mood today - snapping at people, finding faults and nit-picking the small things. I even burst into tears at one point for no reason!

I’m blaming the conversation I unintentionally got involved with, we started talking about hearing aids and the topic drifted into CIs. Before I could mention that I was going for a CI, one person started talking about someone who had a CI, how that person ‘used to be intelligent’ but now ‘acts thick... it’s her CI, it damaged her brain!’ (!?) Another person pointed out a ‘friend’ of his got CI because he wanted to have‘hearing girlfriends’... cue laughter. I was stunned! Will people think that I am getting the CI because I want to get a hearing boyfriend?! Or that I will by lobotomized by the CI and be forever ‘damaged’?!

There are several things I expect from getting a CI:
1 – Use the Telephone again! I recall using the telephone much easier 10-15 years ago, but gradually lost my confidence as my hearing declined. I would really like to do this again
2 – Hear the radio/iPod. So much information is spread via radio, my kids always demand the radio on in the car; I would avoid traffic jams if I had advance warning of same via the traffic station! I envy those who can use a radio/ipod to pass the time on long journeys/poker games etc. I’ve done a few radio interviews but can’t hear what I’ve said, what was kept in/left out, how did I come across!
3 – Follow a group conversation. I cope and communicate well one-to-one but am always lost in groups. Family gatherings can be boring; I miss out on valuable information in poker games when I can’t follow the player banter, I miss vital words that could help me to read a player;

I got my hospital bag packed – I’ve way too much stuff to bring with me: 6-7 pyjamas; dressing gown; hoodie; toiletries; slippers; underwear; laptop; DVDs; books; DV camera & tripod for my video diary; special pillow; notepad and pens... and I am still thinking I’ve forgotten something!!!
A special visit from Debbie Ennis to my home this evening was a godsend – she reassured me by recounting the various experiences that she and 3 of her children experienced going for CIs. They all were affected differently. It helped to calm me down, but I am still restless! Right now its 3am... I am all jittery and unable to sleep!

I have a busy day in work tomorrow, during which I have to call the hospital between 3-5pm to check if a bed is available... I’ve a feeling that there won’t be one and I’ll have to hold on til Wednesday morning. Ah Time will tell!