8 days to go...

I got my letter from Beaumont Hospital confirming the operation on 4th November, admission date 3rd November... Well I'm to call on 3rd to check if there is a bed available, if not then I stay at home on 3rd and go in early on 4th.

Oh my god... that's barely 8 days!

I've always said I'm not nervous about the actual operation, but its still nerve wracking. I've met 15/16 people out of 20 who admitted to having issues after the operation - balance problems, dizziness/vertigo, nausea, extreme/loud tinnitus, loss of sensation/taste/smell, sore throat and for one person - a lot of pain. But the good thing is I will be kept in hospital for 5-7 days to treat any complication that arises.

I've been reading several CI Journey blogs lately I was struck by some of the experiences, especially the American ones, most of them are usually in for one day for the operation then sent home once they wake up! B's blog tells of her post-op experience that left her bed-ridden, her op scar is even more scary! None of the Irish CI'ee scars (that I've seen) are as big as B's either.

Meeting Susie H again this week, she recounted her operation experience (which was very positive) summing it up she was very glad to go home because the four walls were beginning to close in on her... she mentioned one thing that I was not prepared for: She was unable to drive for 3 weeks. Oh. I told my manager I needed 2 weeks off from 3rd November... hope she will be accommodating if I go over that! Driving is part of my work, plus living in Blanchardstown and travelling to Tallaght, get my hours in then be back home within 9 hours (childcare limitations) is nigh impossible using public transport!

Fiona also met me this week and reminded me that I will hate not washing my hair! My hair gets greasy after 3 days, I will be really mingling for 2 weeks! Both girls joined me as part of my new video diary on my CI Journey that I am preparing for Hands On the TV magazine programme for Deaf people in Ireland. But neither are 'Deaf' so I will need to meet and chat with other people who have a CI in the Deaf community...

As I mentioned before my identity is undergoing a huge change, when you have accepted what you have been for so long - this new aspect is huge to re-accept. I had this argument with a work colleague who pointed out that I was still 'technically deaf' but that's not the point. Anyone who watches ER will recall the ER Chief Dr Weaver going through personal and emotional torment while under going a 'new fanged' operation to repair her birth defect that left her with a hip dysplasia; which will enable her to walk without her crutch that she's used her whole life. She breaks down in one scene and hugs her crutch that she connects with her identity and struggles to accept that she will give it up... I'm going through that same parallel too; I'm replacing my hearing aid that barely works for a bionic equivalent, that may (or may not) offer a much more superior (I genuinely hope!) level of sound. A sound that may change my perspective of life, that will increase a lot of opportunities, possibly open a lot more doors... it is a huge change to consider.

8 days... that's a lot of thinking!

It's all happening sooner...

Last Monday I went into Beaumont for my final assessment, this was supposed to be the assessment by which future post-op comparisons would be made... but it didn't happen. Instead I had the most oddest waiting room experience ever!

How many of you have walked into a waiting room then engaged in a group conversation with everyone in the room? When I attend my GPs surgery, everyone usually sits in silence...

As I arrived in the CI department reception 15 minutes early, before being directed to the ENT section two doors down. Waiting the seating area, I met another Deaf girl I know, I had spotted her at the Lunch so the surprise wasn't there. As we fell into an easy chat, she claimed to be just starting her journey but the more she talked, I started getting it in my head that she was going to get her operation date today... as I shared my thoughts, she was pensive - that would be brilliant news but she didn't want to get her hopes up.

Two more patients joined us, one I knew - Karl got his CI in July, but was finding it tough to get used to the CI sounds since his switch on 2 months ago. The other was an adult deafened guy that Karl introduced me to, who had his operation on same day as Karl. Both of them were back in for 2 month check/re-programming. It was interesting listening to them compare notes, as us girls quizzed them on various CI aspects. Both found the operation easy, and got over it quickly.

Two more people joined us, I recognise one of the faces from the group meeting last August, as we acknowledged each other he asked if I had my operation date yet, as I replied, he beamed "Hey, I'm getting my operation on 18th November too!" The other person was a bigger shock for me - it was a work colleague! LOL! She isn't a member of the Deaf community but a terrific advocate for the Irish Hard of Hearing Association. As I confirmed my date, she added that her date was set for 11th November " ...and I've hundreds of questions to be answered here!" patting a folded sheet of paper. Wow, she came better prepared than me. I've tons of questions but when I get in that room - my mind goes blank...

By the time the doctor called me in 35 minutes after the appointment time - there was a great group conversation buzz going on in that waiting room!

As I entered the doctor's room, she asked to check my ears, then I had to sign a consent form for the operation "...later on this month" WHAT?! Actually I'm scheduled for 18th November... "We have a new surgeon, means we can do twice as many adults, so we have brought some of the operations forward including yours..." I was stunned! That can't be right... I've a HUGE workload to get through the next month, I can't afford to have my operation this month.

Pressing for a definite date, the doctor shook her head as the Surgeon came into the room, Dr Viani answered that Jacki will be calling me later with my new date. She asked if I had my Meningitis Vaccine yet. I hadn't but planned to get it 'this week', as this vaccine was supposed to be received 'at least 4 weeks before the CI operation' I queried if this week would still be time enough and Dr Viani reassured me it would be fine. I asked if I was getting a hearing assessment, she shook her head, they had several assessment results going back years that they can use as comparision.

As I left, I was wondering how will Jacki contact me?! Email? Text? Bewildered, I headed straight to my GP to book my vaccine. The GP offered to fit me in that afternoon - brilliant. I hardly felt it, but boy, my arm was really sore the next day!

No news from Jacki, and by Wednesday I was getting worried, so I sent her an email. She replied immediately apologising, explaining that she assumed I had been informed by Dr Viani last Monday... then the bombshell - the operation was to take place on 21st October. I panicked, the 21st was the start of a very busy week in our office and my sister's baby was being christened that weekend. I replied begging for an alternative date, and Jacki offered to ask another person to swap dates with me.

I spent two sleepless nights worrying about it (that's how serious our work schedule is!) it was Friday before I got the confirmation of the new operation date - Wednesday 4th November! Phew! Now to inform and prepare my work for the disruption of my absences... just hope my manager is in a good mood this Monday, LOL!

CI Adults Luncheon

The CI Team hosted a special 'Luncheon' for all the CI and CI-to-be Adults on 26th September to coincide with their 15th anniversary.

It was a great opportunity to hook up with CI adults and get more information on the process and gather various individual experiences. Throw in a scrumptious raffle, a few Irish Dancers, one generous buffet, an introduction to the new surgeon and the simple Luncheon became a mad hatters tea party (in my part of the room that is!) as most deaf people ignoring the speeches (no ISL Interpreters/speed text available!) the dancers (some CI'ers complained that the music was just noise to them, plus it went on too long... 65 minutes!) and us calling for the expected coffee that never came - our serving staff only had tea left by the time they got to our table, they promised to come back with coffee but... none was forthcoming still it was a strange but enjoyable day!



I met some Deaf people there, like me, waiting to get the CI. For some seeing me was a total shock, one of my good friends did a double take at the sight of me, and just stared at me til I asked if my mascara had ran down my face or I had something gross stuck to my chin! 'What are YOU doing here? You never told us you were going for a CI!' she ranted. Off we went to find a table together and swap stories. Another Deaf CI'ee joined us, not only had she a CI herself but 3 of her children were also implanted; she confessed that herself and her Deaf husband had a 'very tough time' with the Deaf community after allowing CI team to Implant their daughter 6-7 years ago, and still gets the odd criticism now thrown in her face and then. Hubby was evaluated for CI but doesn't meet the criteria "...yet!" she's also considering getting a Bilateral CI (Bilateral CI is where you have a CI on both sides) but the fact that it took her a long time to 'recover' after the CI operation is putting her off somewhat. Speaking of Bilateral there was a man there who was Bilateral Implanted; I was totally stunned seeing him - I remembered him and his 'then girlfriend' as one of the most outspoken critics of CIs years ago... what a turnabout for the books! When I asked him about the benefit of having two CIs over having one CI, he ignored me and walked over to the next table... guess he was afraid I'd bring up the past and embarrass him? Hmmm!

As I sat at the table, a suave young man proffered his hand and introduced himself 'Hello, I'm Conor...' as I gave my name I noticed he was sitting with another young Deaf CI'ee who sometimes plays with Irish Deaf Poker. I asked if he was involved with the Deaf Community, but Conor shook his head. He knew the other lads via the CI programme, he had been mainstreamed and had just finished his masters degree in Computer Applications. He had no sign language. We got talking about his CI experiences. Conor had no difficulty hearing the speeches, and everything going on about him, when I lowered my voice he picked me up fine. I was amazed to discover he only had the CI 5-6 years, but it wasn't all rosy he admitted. His 'hearing journey' took a 'long slow 3-4 years' to peak to the level where he is now with 85% word recognition. His only regret was that he didn't have it before he started second level, as some of the issues he had would have been lessened. We had a great conversation going all throughout the meal.

I was delighted to catch up with another 'mainstream Deaf' who got the CI 2-3 years ago. Like me, Cathy (pictured below) only 'discovered' the Deaf community late when she was in College, and had concerns with this when getting the CI. While she did noticed a 'subtle change' in some Deaf people's attitudes after her CI she refuses to let it bother her. Personally I think her sports status helped big time (she's the Top Lady Golfer on the Irish Deaf Golf Team with several awards under her belt, plus she was on the Deaf Women's basketball team at the height of their success on the women's premier league) plus her degree from Gallaudet garnered enough brownie points to minimise any damage. Cathy is happy with her CI but pointed out that there were several people who were far more successful than her, pointing out a very confident, Californian-looking individual to me. He was to her immediate right holding court on her table with a group of young girls hanging on to every word. As I joined the conversation, I discovered that he only had his Implant switched on February 2009 and achieved 75% word recognition in quiet environment and 61% in noisy environments at his last assessment, compared to his previous score of 39% in quite mode and <10% pre-CI - very impressive results! I wished I had asked more about his 'Journey' - was he late deafened, born deaf, hearing aid user, etc. He did admit that music was still strange, Cathy agreed with him "It's just noise... "

Moving on to the next table, I was delighted to bump into Maria O'Gorman from Limerick. I first met Maria 6 years ago on a Deaf Information Roadshow I did in Limerick. Maria had lost her hearing 3-4 years previously and was not getting any benefit from hearing aids. She was finding life very tough at the time, had lost her confidence, found it hard to keep her speech level and was learning ISL to enable her to communicate and finding it hard to get used to it. Today's Maria was a totally changed person! Brimming with confidence, speaking clearer and praising her 2 year old CI for it all! "I can follow the radio in my car no problem!" Wow... I want to be able to do that too!

Spotting Fiona from the CI meeting on the other side of the room, surrounded by an audience. I was disappointed not to be able to say hello but there was too many people around. I counted 20 tables with 10 people at each... I must to text her to apologise in case she thought I was ignoring her!

Bumping into a nervous young man, on discovering I was waiting for my operation, confessed the reason for his nervousness - he is facing the operation NEXT WEEK! Wishing him the best of luck, he asked me if I had made a decision on which implant to go with? Advance Bionics (AB) or the Australian Cochlear? I admitted that I hadn't given it any serious thought but I would like to talk with someone with an AB implant... he admitted that he was looking for someone with AB too! I left him to his search.

Apart from some of the initial CI Team who came back especially for the occasion, the guest of honours also included the first man/woman adult-CI operated on in Ireland by Beaumont CI team. But as far as my memory serves: they don't have the distinction of being the first person in Ireland, that falls to Melanie O'Grady - who was the first Irish person to go to Manchester and get an implant 20 years ago. I was good friends with Melanie before we lost touch as she moved to UK to study then on to USA with her new husband. I recently discovered her on Facebook, that's the amazing thing about facebook... finding long lost friends!

Saying my goodbyes to the Team, I had a brief chat with Gary Norman (in photo holding microphone) as I was leaving. Gary was the first CI Team member I met, a really nice guy - easy to talk with. He assigned me my first digital HAs then broke the news that I was 'outside the criteria' way back in 2005. I was sad to hear he left to go home to the UK, it was lovely to see him again! We had a brief conversation about the Deaf community, are they more accepting of CIs now? Might be best to ask me again after my operation Gary! LOL! I hope he returns to Beaumount some day!

Beside him was an man in his mid-50's who asked me 'How are you getting on with your CI's?' replying that I hadn't been implanted yet, adding my operation date in November. He beamed at me "I have my implant 14 years! And there's not one day that I don't regret it! Nor will you..." I hope so too, Sir!

In the Ladies, just before I left, I got talking to a young pretty girl in her mid-20s. Susie just got switched on 4 weeks ago and declared it 'too soon' to comment on the benefit of her CI. She is 'hearing everything' but finds it hard to place the sound, to differate between the words being spoken and make sense of what she is picking up. She also showed me her scar, which had completely healed and looked really neat! We exchange numbers, I look forward to hearing how she's getting on...

Going home I felt more positive about getting the CI... one common thought I got from them was the operation itself was doodle, apart from one woman. No one mentioned any problems with the actual operation but the Switching On week was 'tough'. They were 'tired', 'emotional', 'stressful, and/or 'all over the place - couldn't concentrate on ANYTHING! Advance warning to take time off work for this I guess.

Strangely enough apart from the people I shared a table with, the rest of us Deafies practically avoided each other and sought out the CI'ees to hear their experiences . A few days later I bumped into one of the Deaf people from the Lunch the conversation went like this:

- Hey! So sorry I did see you at the CI lunch but I was too busy getting information to talk to you, then I had to rush home...
- That's okay, me too!
- Urm... do the (DEAF) Community know you going for a CI?
- Some do, the rest will find out soon enough I guess
- Ah... okay... well I haven't told anyone that I'm on CI list yet...
- Don't worry, I won't say anything!
- *big relief on face* Thanks, I really appreciate that... so when is your CI?
- 18th November...
- Wow! THAT soon? I just had my first appointment earlier on this year... how long did it take you from then til you got your date(of operation)?
- I was referred by my GP in 2003!
- 2003???!!! SIX Years??!!! My... you kept that quiet!
- Yeah... I may talk a lot, but I am VERY GOOD at keeping secrets!

LOL!