Switch On... OMG!

Meeting Fran outside Beaumont at 1.45pm, she was coming in with me to film my video diary, I was running late and had two pieces I wanted to film before the 2pm Switch On appointment!


It was 2:15 before I got there - we were racing through the PTCs before heading down to the CI department. Jackie must have been thinking how odd I was for not being there early, never mind on time, hoping to get switched on sooner, and went off for a break! I had to wait 20 minutes before she came back... LOL!

I was brought into a room I had never been in before, and handed over the big yellow Nucleus Freedom box that I was given in the hospital. Talking all the stuff out, Jackie went through the list and noticed a few things missing, then went off to the store room to fetch spares.

She started with determining the magnet strenght I needed. "This one is the average adult size" Jackie explained waving a packet with the number 2 on the front. But it wouldn't stick, so off it came "let get number 3, you have very thick hair..." but 3 was no good either. Jackie opened a 3rd packet with the size 4 in it. I lifted up my hair and it stuck initially, but as I let my hair fall down the magnet came off! Jackie just laughed "well, there's one more size if that doesn't work you might have to have a bald patch!" and off she went to rummage through the store room again. Thankfully the last one worked... I think I would have cried if I had to wait til I had my bald patch before having the switch on!!!

Once the magnet was firmly in place, the processor was hooked up to the PC and the tuning started. The tuning was basically a series of sounds similar to having a hearing test, and I had to indicate when the level of each pip (that's what they sounded like to me - pips of noises) was comfortable. Some of them I was literally jumping at the sensation! Ow! Ooooh! Eeek! After only adjusting 5 or 6 of these pips Jackie turned to look at me... "Okay? This is it - I'm switching you on now!" I was stunned...the tuning was over already? That was really fast!

The switch on was electric, the power was overwhelming, it was like silence then a BooooOOOOOOOOOOOM! Like sonic waves going through my brain... The first think I noticed was a loud hum.

"eeeellll? Waaan do yoooo tiiiin?" Took me a moment to figure out that Jackie was talking to me. The sound was nasal, cartoonish and just not 'right'... as Jackie continued to talk to me I was getting more bewildered. WTF was this?!!!

"Do you hear a buzz?" I lipread her, the sound wasn't matching what I was hearing but I trusted my lipreading skills mkre right now... "Is the computer making a noise? Like a hum?" I asked, Jackie shock her head "no it isn't, the hum or buzz is the implant - its the world. The world IS noisy! Don't worry you will get used to it eventually!" used to it? OMG! It is horrible - I don't think I like this constant humming at all!

"Can you hear me talk?" Jackie continued, the cartoonish-underwater sound continued to evade my senses. Telling her what she sounded like, she nodded and adjusted a few settings on the PC... "How's that? Is that better?" hmmm a little - but you still sound weird! Cue laughter all around...

Fran continued to film us silently. Catching the camera, I signed into it "oh my god - this is just... NOT what I was expecting! Its nothing like what I had before... " Jackie asked how I felt, I was honest - its not perfect but I came in expecting nothing more than the same hearing I had before... nothing more. Jackie offered to test me with 3/4 sounds:

aa
ee
oo
sh
ss

I got more of them right(!)

Someone knocked on the door and I literally jumped, what was THAT?! Seeing Jackie turn her head to talk to the person at the door, I copped on that I had just heard knocking. But it didn't sound like knocking! Screechy-scratching more like, interspersed with that consistent hum... Jackie did a few more adjustments then announced that I was finished 'for today'... what?! She's sending me home with this hum that had started developing hooting and whoosing noises... urgh! I was certainly NOT impressed with it at all.

Reminding myself that I'm a long way off from perfect hearing and it will take time... that no CI'ee I met ever enjoyed the switch on, in fact Fiona pointed out the first 3 months were "awful" for her. Just have to grit my teeth and get on with it... it can only get better.

Asking me what my plans were for the week (as my next appointment was in 6 days time...) I mentioned I was going to the pub later for my friend's farewell do before flying back to her new home in Oz. Jackie then created a 2nd map for 'noisy places' encouraged me to use it in pubs and busy places. Along with a louder programme for 'quiet places' I had the base map plus another with two electrodes on different settings. And was sent packing with the bare supplies and a card outlining the various programmes on the processor and the lenght of time the batteries would last - 39 hours, just over 3 days.

Once outside, the hum wasn't as noticeable, there were other sounds but nothing was making sense. Fran asked if I would explain how I felt the the camera, a security guard interrupted us asking if we had permission to film, waving the signed slip from the Hospital Director he apologized and toddled off - I was so distracted signing to the camera because I kept hearing his footsteps as he walked away!

I drove to my friends' house in Swords for coffee, confessing my disappointment, they reminded me that getting new hearing aids is like that. We all need time to adjust "You need to give it time" very true. Vowing to keep the implant in as much as I can, the hum was still there, but every time it got noisy the hum went! Weird!

As I drove to town the noises in the car were heightened; the indicator was so loud, so sharp! The sound of the gears changing was scary, even though I was using my clutch - it still grinded as if I wasn't!

Parking my car 500 yards from where I was due to meet my friends, I had to cross Westmoreland Street, what an experience... with all the street noises - I started to feel overwhelmed, it felt like a rugby scrum was coming at me from all corners! I kept looking around me (and above to the sky too!) expecting to see something charging at me...But no, nothing! Walking down the street, I jumped as a group of lads passed me by talking loudly. It was as if they were shouting directly into my ear!

Meeting the girls in Starbucks while waiting for our table to be ready in Montys, I couldn't hear them talk at all - the noise was so great, it was drowning out their voices. I heard a chair being scrapped back - the sound came clearly above 'the noise' and registered itself with me first before I turning my head... I saw the owner get up and move the chair again. Yes it was definitely that! Wow!

After our meal we went to the Globe bar and by 1am I was too tired and overwhelmed by the noise of the music (it wasn't music - it was just 'ner-ner-ner-ner' noise!) and went home.

Taking the implant off that night I had a small tinnitus effect that died down very quickly. I keep reminding myself that its only early days... lets give this thing a fighting chance!